February often invites couples to ask a familiar question: “How do we show love better?” For many couples, this can lead to conversations about love languages. Do these sound familiar? For reference, the five love languages identified by Dr. Gary Chapman are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts.  While this framework can be helpful, it can also become another place where couples feel pressure or get stuck in “right vs. wrong.” But wha

February has quite a romantic reputation, doesn’t it? Heart-shaped everything. Prix-fixe dinners. Social media reminders of what romance is supposed  to look like. For many couples, this month quietly turns into a performance review of their relationship. Did we do enough? Did we plan something special? Does this mean something is wrong if it feels…underwhelming? If February has ever left you feeling pressured, disappointed, or disconnected, you’re not alone. The truth is, re

The glow of the holidays can fade quickly once January arrives. December invites us into connection naturally. There are family traditions, shared errands, festive rituals, and a sense of togetherness that feels almost built into the season. Even couples who feel stretched thin often find small pockets of closeness without having to work too hard for them. But then January shows up. The lights and tree come down, the kids are back in school, and we adults face cooler weather,

I was recommended Fair Play by Eve Rodsky  by a fellow couples therapist. At the time, I was working with several couples where fairness around housework and childcare was a major theme (it often is, by the way). What is Fair Play by Eve Rodsky about? The author offers a system in which couples can talk about and navigate the wear and tear of relationship tasks. Housework — or more specifically, the division of labor — is one of the top five topics that cause relationship co

There’s something about a new year that invites reflection, intention, and hope. Not the rigid, high-pressure resolutions that most of us forget by February! But the softer kind that includes dreaming, imagining, and envisioning what life could  feel like in the coming months. It’s my personal belief that for couples, January presents a powerful opportunity that few other months do. So, one of my favorite practices to recommend this time of year to my clients (and you too!) i

January has a unique energy to it, doesn’t it? On one hand, it holds the promise of a fresh start. And I don’t know of ANYONE—family, friend, client, or otherwise—who hasn’t loved the idea of a fresh start at least once. On the other hand, January also carries the emotional hangover of the prior year. All the things we wanted to do but didn’t. All the things that didn’t go as planned. In other words…life. This mix can be especially tricky for couples. So let’s talk about how

The end of a year naturally invites reflection. Yes, there's almost always the “New Year, New You” kind.  But today I want to suggest that you and your spouse, partner, or significant other try the gentler, more grounded kind that asks: Where have we grown? What have we learned? And how has our relationship shifted because of those experiences? Can this be scary and feel vulnerable? Of course. But it’s important to remember, especially this time of year when everyone is obses

This was a book I wasn’t even looking for  — but the book I sorely  needed. I often go into bookstores with a general idea of what I’m looking for. Sometimes I have a specific title in mind, and other times I just wander. During one of those delightful wanderings at my local independent bookstore, I saw this book. The title fascinated me immediately. Considering the very wild state of the world and the intensity with which people are expressing their beliefs right now, I was

The holidays carry a lot of hope, don’t they? We imagine meaningful moments, cozy gatherings, smooth travel, cheerful kids, peaceful family time… and then reality arrives with its own agenda. Plans shift. Family dynamics flare. Someone gets sick. Travel falls apart. The day feels rushed instead of restful. Or the moment you were counting on simply… doesn’t happen. Navigating holiday disappointment is incredibly common. Yet most people don’t talk about it because it can feel “

December brings a lot of joy. Twinkling lights, family gatherings, traditions, and cozy nights at home to name a few!  But let’s also name the fact that holidays also bring a lot of pressure.  Invitations, obligations, and expectations can pile up quickly, leaving you and your partner stretched thin. If you’ve ever reached January feeling exhausted rather than recharged, you’re not alone. Often with clients I’ve found that it’s because saying yes  to everything during the hol

Ah, the holidays! The most wonderful time of the year! Or so they say.  For many couples and families, “holidays” is shorthand for “financial stress.” Because between travel, gifts, parties, and traditions, it’s easy to feel like you’re overspending. Or perhaps worse, like you have  to spend in order to create meaningful memories. I know you’ve heard it before, but I’ll say it again. Holiday magic doesn’t come from how much money you spend. It comes from the presence, creativ

Trust. It’s the foundation of every relationship, whether intimate, familial, friendship, or even professional. Trust is what allows us to feel safe, connected, and open to cooperation. Without it, relationships struggle. With it, they thrive. But what does trust really look like in daily life? And how do we build it in our closest relationships? The truth is, trust doesn’t just happen once. It’s built over time, through consistent actions, mutual respect, and repair when we

Money is one of the top sources of conflict in relationships. In fact, a study by Fidelity Investments showed that 44% of couples admit money is the most significant source of stress in their relationship—almost half of all couples! But here’s the thing I can tell you from the point of view of a therapist: money disagreements are almost never about dollars and cents. Instead, disagreements about money often stem from our values, like security versus freedom. Even the way we w

Russ Harris is one of my all-time favorite personal growth authors. He is an Australian Psychologist, ACT therapist, trainer, and the author of several books on applying Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT (pronounced like the word ‘act’), to various aspects of life. ACT with Love is about how to apply the principles of ACT to relationships.  This second updated edition has some great additional information, but still has the easy readability of all of Russ’s books. (

Here comes the holidays! Once we get past Halloween, your favorite stores start advertising Black Friday specials, the latest and...

Feeling disconnected from your partner lately? Don’t worry. Disconnection happens in every relationship. We’re human! Life gets busy,...

The air is turning crisp, and the leaves are beginning to change! Fall is a beautiful time of year that certainly seems to bring a...

The holiday season often brings joy, celebration, and family traditions. But let’s be honest: it can also bring a hefty dose of stress!...

Most of us know that the weather can influence our mood. Sunshine often feels energizing, while gray, rainy days can leave us sluggish or...

It’s inevitable that seasons bring change. In summer, long days and flexible schedules may create more space for fun.  Meanwhile, the...