We all carry heavy things. I often try to remind myself of this when I’m frustrated by something—the way the cashier spoke to me, the car that cut me off in traffic, or when I haven’t heard back from a friend for a long time are good examples. Now sure, sometimes people are simply not kind. We can acknowledge that. But I’d prefer to give individuals the benefit of the doubt! Because when we carry heavy things, we don’t always realize how we’re presenting to the rest of the wo

Have you ever been in the middle of a disagreement with your partner and realized you’re not entirely reacting to them? Maybe something they said sounded a little too familiar. Maybe the way they went quiet immediately made you assume the worst. Or maybe you felt yourself getting defensive before you even really understood what they were trying to say. That’s because sometimes, the person standing in front of us isn't the only person in the room. We all enter relationships wi

September has a way of sneaking up on couples. One minute you're easing out of summer, the next you're back to school drop-offs, packed work calendars, and a to-do list that somehow grew overnight. High-demand seasons like this one don't just take a toll on your schedule. They take a toll on communication. When there's less time and less energy, couples tend to stop saying what they need out loud. They just hope their partner notices. The problem is, partners usually don't no

By September, a lot of couples are running on momentum instead of rest. Summer's looser pace is gone, the school year routine hasn't fully settled yet, and everyone is a little more tired than they'd like to admit. This is usually when I start hearing the same complaint from couples. Not about a specific fight, but about a general sense of running out of gas, with no real plan for how either partner gets to recharge. I hate to break it to you, but that's not a sustainability

There's a moment a lot of couples hit this time of year. One partner is running on empty while the other appears to be functioning normally. And nobody quite knows what to do about the gap. Maybe it's the parent handling the bulk of school logistics. Maybe it's the partner whose job just ramped up for the fall. Whatever the cause, one of you is depleted, and the relationship has to figure out how to hold that without completely falling apart. The good news is that many couple

One week you're all still in the slow rhythm of summer. The next, it's alarms, lunches, backpacks, and a calendar that suddenly has color-coded chaos on it. Summer has a way of giving families room to breathe together, even if that time was messy or unstructured. Back-to-school has a way of taking that room right back. If you and your partner feel a little more distant once the school year kicks in, that's not a sign anything is wrong. It's just what happens when logistics t

You're lying in bed next to your partner, scrolling your phone, and you feel completely alone. Not because they did anything wrong. Not because you're fighting. You just feel... far away. If that sounds familiar, I want you to hear this first: feeling lonely in a relationship doesn't automatically mean your relationship is broken. It's more common than people admit, and it's usually pointing at something specific. So, let's talk about what it actually means and, just as impo

You're mid-sentence, explaining something that matters to you, and you can tell…your partner isn’t really in it. Maybe they're nodding along, but they have that blank look of disinterest on their face. Or maybe they cut you off and start offering suggestions before you can finish. In any case, you walk away thinking the same thing: they never listen to me. I hear some version of this in almost every couples session. And usually, it's not that your partner doesn't care. It's

Many couples come into therapy worried about how often they argue. They wonder if frequent disagreements mean something is wrong with their relationship or if happy couples somehow avoid conflict altogether. The truth is that conflict is a normal part of any close relationship. Two people with different personalities, experiences, needs, and perspectives are bound to disagree from time to time. What matters most isn't whether conflict happens. It's how couples handle it. Some

Many people assume that healthy relationships are defined by harmony. They imagine strong couples that rarely argue and always seem naturally in sync. Sure, that may sound appealing. But it isn't particularly realistic. Every relationship—romantic, platonic—includes differences in opinions, preferences, needs, and perspectives. Conflict is a normal part of doing life with another person. I’d, in fact, argue that the strength of a relationship is not measured by the absence of

Many couples believe the healthiest relationships are the ones with the fewest arguments. It's an understandable assumption. After all, conflict can be uncomfortable. It can bring up feelings of frustration, disappointment, hurt, and disconnection. Most of us would prefer to avoid those feelings whenever possible. But research on relationships tells a different story. Strong couples don't necessarily argue less than struggling couples. What often sets them apart is their abil

For a long time, traditional ideas about fatherhood followed a fairly narrow script. Fathers were often expected to be providers first. Strong, dependable, hardworking, emotionally steady, and sometimes emotionally distant. In many families, caregiving and emotional connection were viewed as secondary roles or responsibilities that belonged more naturally to mothers. But fatherhood has been evolving for quite some time—and honestly, that’s not a bad thing! Many fathers today

I first read The Gifts of Imperfection several years ago, but recently picked up the updated 10th Anniversary Edition while visiting one of my favorite indie bookstores, Northshire Bookstore. The original edition was fairly slim, so when I saw how much thicker this version was, I was curious about what Brené Brown had added. Let’s dig in. What is this book about? If you’re not familiar with Brené Brown, she is a researcher who studies emotions such as shame, vulnerability, co

Dads. No matter how you may feel about yours, he has impacted you. And perhaps there are few reminders of that impact than Father’s Day. It’s a day that comes with a lot of messaging about what fathers are supposed to be. The provider. The protector. The strong one. Sure, some fathers deeply value those roles. How they did your did not carry them out has affected you. But they don’t tell the whole story of what meaningful fatherhood looks like. More and more, families are rec

When conversations around fatherhood happen, they often focus on traditional “male” actions. Fiscal responsibility, providing, or being dependable jump to mind for me almost immediately as examples! Don’t get me wrong. Those things absolutely matter. But emotional health is just as important, and it has a profound impact on family and relationship dynamics. As much as we (or they) would like to think it, fathers are not separate from the emotional climate of a home. Their str

In many relationships, the tension around “who does what” doesn’t start as a big problem. In fact, it’s hardly noticeable. But then weeks or months or years of a dish being left in the sink, or a calendar that lives only in one partner’s head, start to feel like…a lot. Like an imbalance. And when that happens, it’s easy to slip into something that feels a lot like scorekeeping, even if that was never the intention. “I did this, so you should do that.” “I always handle this.”

When a couple becomes parents, things don’t just add on. They can completely shift! Roles change. Routines change. And often, without much discussion, expectations change too. What used to feel natural in a relationship can start to feel unfamiliar. That’s usually because before kids, roles in a relationship tend to feel more flexible and fluid. There’s often more room to adjust, trade off, and respond in the moment. After kids, those roles can become more defined. Sometimes,

Mother’s Day is meant to be a celebration. A chance to pause and recognize everything a mom gives, holds, and carries. But for many moms, it doesn’t always feel that way. Sometimes the “celebration” still requires her to plan and coordinate. In other words, it still lives, at least partially, in her head. And that can turn a well-intended day into one more thing she’s quietly managing. That’s because in many families, moms are the ones holding the invisible details of daily l

For many people, the idea of working on a relationship can feel like an admission that something is wrong. This can activate defensiveness or shame. Others may have grown up in environments where emotional conversations were not modeled. They may simply not know how to engage in the way their partner is asking. Some individuals also equate relationship work with criticism or blame. If past conversations have felt overwhelming or painful, avoidance can become a survival strat

Many people grow up believing that love means sharing everything. Doing everything together. Spending all of your time together. But healthy relationships need both togetherness and individuality. Psychologist Dr. David Schnarch referred to this balance as differentiation or the ability to stay emotionally connected to your partner while still maintaining a clear sense of self. Understanding this balance can help couples feel both secure and free within their relationship. S