How to Create a Shared Vision for Your Future

Your relationship started with a spark. Something that drew you together and made you think, “I want to get to know them better.” 

But then life gets busier. So, it’s easy to get caught up in daily routines, short-term to-do lists, and the hustle of responsibilities.

This is where having a shared vision can make all the difference.

A shared vision will help you stay connected through the changes and challenges of life by giving you a common direction to move toward. 

And better still is that it’s something every couple can create. This is true whether you’re newly committed or decades in!

Why it Matters to Create a Shared Vision

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, whose research has shaped much of what we know about lasting relationships, highlight the importance of building shared meaning as one of the core principles of a healthy relationship.

When couples create a shared vision, they begin to feel more like teammates. 

There’s less drifting and more intention. 

Less “you and me” and more “us.” 

Whether you’re facing a big life transition or just feeling a little out of sync lately, this process can help bring you back into alignment.

And here’s how it works.

Step One: Reflect on What Matters to You

Before you talk about your shared future, it helps to get clear on your own.

Set aside some quiet time and ask yourself:

• What kind of life do I want to live?

• What values are most important to me?

• What are my personal dreams, both big and small?

  
  

This part isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about tapping into your own sense of purpose so you can share it openly with your partner.

Step Two: Share and Listen

Once you’re clear on what you want, it’s time to sit down and talk.

And don't worry, this talk is supposed to be fun. After all, it’s all about getting curious. So, share your reflections. Ask open-ended questions. Listen with the intent to understand.

You might discover that your dreams overlap in unexpected ways. Or you might find differences that, with a little compassion and creativity, can still live side by side.

Step Three: Identify Core Values and Big Picture Goals

Now that you’ve shared your individual dreams with one another, look for common threads.

What fundamental values do you both hold close? What kind of family culture do you want to create? What does “success” or “peace” look like in your home?

Consider areas like:

• Career and finances

• Family and parenting

• Travel and adventure

• Home and lifestyle

• Community, spirituality, or service

  
  

Remember: You don’t have to agree on everything! A shared vision of the future is more about knowing where your values meet those of your partner so that no matter what you decide, you can move forward together.

Step Four: Create Rituals That Support Your Vision

Implementation comes next. That’s because shared meaning is built through not only conversation but also action. 

So, let’s talk about rituals and traditions and how you can implement new ones that support your shared vision.

Think small. A Sunday planning session. A yearly retreat to revisit goals. Or a weekly walk where you check in emotionally.

These rituals will help to reinforce your connection to each other and your shared future.

Step Five: Revisit and Revise

Your shared vision isn’t a contract; it’s a conversation. Like any meaningful conversation, it should evolve over time.

As your relationship grows, your visions might shift. 

That’s okay!

This is why you’ve built those rituals to help support your vision. So you know when one another has a change of heart, and you can stay aligned, even when things feel a bit muddy or unpredictable.

Final Thoughts

Creating a shared vision doesn’t mean you have to want all the same things. It means you’re walking in the same direction together, with curiosity and care.

If you’re feeling a little disconnected or unsure of what’s next with your partner, this process can offer clarity and closeness.