The Secret Language of the Body book: Regulate your nervous system, heal your body, free your mind (by Jennifer Mann & Karden Rabin)

I came across The Secret Language of the Body as a recommendation from Libro.fm. 

I had been learning a lot about somatic healing and polyvagal theory, as well as having my own nervous system regulation issues recently. This book looked interesting, and I decided to give it a listen.

For me, The Secret Language of the Body book is not one I could just listen to; I needed to be able to see the diagrams and read through the processes. The audiobook does come with a PDF download of the diagrams, but I chose to purchase the physical copy. The narrator does a lovely job and is pleasant to listen to, in case you would prefer to listen or do a combo of both reading and listening (my personal fave).  

Initially, I had some reservations about this book after reading the introduction. The general message at the beginning was: “This is the only method you will ever need”. 

This raised a lot of suspicion for me. Even as the authors acknowledge that everyone heals differently, they still make it seem like this approach is better than all others.  Even with good data, which the book lacks, that is a pretty bold claim.

There are a lot of references to other reputed therapists, therapy models, researchers, and theorists, but no research is referenced that is conducted on their own method.  Data alone is by no means a requirement for practices to be effective; however, if you are going to make a claim that this is the only approach you will ever need (sounds like a set of QVC knives), then I would like to see the comparisons showing that it is, in fact, true. 

There are many people who have been struggling for a while with physical and emotional issues, for which this kind of promise can be a cruel seducer.

What is The Secret Language of the Body book about?

As the title states, this book is indeed about regulating your nervous system. 

The authors walk you through the development of the nervous system and how it functions as our primary protector from the world. When all goes well, our nervous system goes through patterns of heightened awareness and relaxation. Sometimes this process gets a bit stuck and we end up in a heightened state, either more easily, more frequently, or just have difficulty getting back to relaxed. 

There are many reasons why our nervous systems might get stuck, most of which are not within our control (hello, uncomfortable political situations, I’m looking at you!). 

The authors take a very compassionate approach to acknowledging how difficult the state of being stuck is and the various physical and mental symptoms that can complicate our lives as a result. They do oversimplify the complexity of some of these mental and physical challenges and summarize them as solely the result of a stuck nervous system.  If only it were that simple.  

The authors provide the reader with background information on each section, for those who like to know the ‘Why’, and then instruct the reader in different exercises to help regulate the nervous system through their A.I.R. process (Awareness, Interruption, Redesign). Each chapter explores the three realms of Body, Mind, and Human within the A.I.R. process. 

Mind and Body are self-explanatory. Human is being used by the authors as a title to represent the early development and relational realm of the nervous system. The exercises draw from ACT, Polyvagal, and Attachment therapeutic approaches.  They are explained well, easy to do, and helpful when practiced. 

Who is this book for?

I believe that the target audience of the book is people who are struggling with anxiety and trauma; however, I believe that the book can be helpful to anyone who is looking to understand their responses to stress and chronic pain (physical or emotional). 

We all have a nervous system, and the world we live in has become more and more challenging to navigate. In that regard, this book is for anyone with a nervous system who would like some new ways in which to understand and interact with it. (Yes, please!)

How can it help?

I really appreciated the combination of techniques used in The Secret Language of the Body book.

All the theories and therapies referenced in this book are excellent and proven to be helpful for those struggling with everything from chronic stress to PTSD. 

The blending of the models was well done and creates a nice well of information for the reader to draw from. I also appreciated the menu style of the exercises. Not every exercise works for every person, and having a menu of options to try is very helpful. As with all books, these are most helpful if you actually do the exercises and experiment with them.

Great Takeaways

There are many helpful techniques in this book (as a therapist, I have guided clients through many of them); however, there is a unique approach that I found to be one of the most helpful techniques in the book called BASE. This is an acronym for Breath, Action, Sensation, and Emotion. 

BASE is used as a way to check in with yourself and explore your experience, which can then allow you to choose an Interruption and a follow-up Redesign technique to re-educate your nervous system and bring it back to balance more quickly. I really appreciated the ease in remembering this acronym and then applying it. There are many such tools, but this one was really helpful and allows for the addition of next steps (from this book or other favorites you may have). 

The authors add a letter, one for each of the areas, in which you would then follow with an interruption and/or a redesign.  

If I had a wish, I would have liked a chart or a cheat sheet for the model. There is a very small one on pg.21 that outlines the overview, but it wouldn’t be helpful if I were using it for reference or to help remind me of what I could do when I was feeling a bit disregulated.

The Verdict

Overall, I would recommend this book. I think there are some things that poked my personal buttons, but the tools in the book are accessible and explained well. 

I don’t think that it will solve all of our nervous system problems, but there are many good tools for your toolbox. 

That being said, there are A LOT of tools in this book, and sometimes that can be overwhelming, we can get into choice overload, and then choose nothing. My suggestion would be that if you read this book and experiment with the practices, create a cheat sheet of your own to be able to easily reference the tools that work for you and reduce the need to make a decision about the process when your nervous system is in a space where it doesn’t excel at making decisions.

Be well and take care of each other.